"On the fourth day of christmas, my true love gave to me..."
"Four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree!"
"Good evening, I'm Lufty Van Arsewinkle reporting live behind enemy lines for RSPB news. After a further day of intense fighting, the turtle doves and partridges have brought in more reinforcements to try and gain control of the pear tree. 3 french hens battalion are severely overwhelmed and are conceding heavy casualties as they attempt to resolve the conflict. Just hours ago, my colleagues and I came under heavy fire from a turtle dove bombing squadron, and unfortunately a member of the film crew got a bit of shit on his shoulder. We will bring you more top stories as they come in. Lufty Van Arsewinkle, reporting for RSPB news."
Oh, and here's the four calling birds:
"SANDRA!! Where are you?! We're off to the takeaway now!!"
Oh, and here's the four calling birds:
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